This is from a blog I read but I’m not linking to it because he might not like getting a link from a porn site. Hehe. Anyways, here’s our joke for the day:

Surely you’ve heard the one about the moyle who has a side business selling wallets he would make out of his clients’ foreskins. When asked by a potential buyer why his wallets were so expensive, the moyle explained: “Because if you rub it, it turns into a suitcase.”

If you are cut, ever wondered where your foreskin went?

Three men walk into a bar. After they drink a couple of beers they are ready to leave, but the bartender won’t let them unless they have 12 inches of dick between them.

The first guy whips his out and shows 6 inches. The second guy drops his pants and shows 5 inches. Finally, the third guy shows his 1 inch dick.

The bartender says “Ok, that’s 12 inches you can go”. As they’re walking away the first guy says to the third, “Thank god you had a boner or we’d still be there.”

You think having the biggest penis in the world is great? Wait until you hear the story of this guy, Justin Parker, whose really big pecker is negatively affecting his life. Poor dude. Warning: This is not the typical video you usually find in this blog :-)

A guy was walking in the park when he saw a fountain. “What a beautiful fountain,” he thought to himself, “I think I’ll take a risk and bathe in it.” So he goes home and gets two bars of soap and walks back to the fountain, takes off all of his clothes and proceeds to bathe.

After a few minutes three nuns come walking along. The guy quickly shoves the bars of soap into his mouth and posses like a statue. The nuns stop to look at him and one of the nuns says “Look it’s one of those slot machines.” So the first nun shoves a quarter up his butt, pulls his dick and a bar of soap pops out of his mouth. The second nun shoves a quarter up his butt, pulls his dick and a bar of soap pops out of his mouth.

The third nun shoves a quarter up his butt, pulls his dick nothing happens so she keeps yanking on it. She looks down at her hands and says “Oh, what lovely hand cream.”

Three guys die and go to hell. When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises.

“Oh, how are you going to do it”, asks one of the guys. “Whatever your fathers jobs were, that’s how I’ll remove them” says the devil.

So he calls over the first guy “Your father was a lumberjack… So I’ll cut it off with a saw.” To the second guy he says “Your father was a blacksmith… So I’m going to burn it off.”

As he calls the third guy over he notices he’s smiling. “Why are you smiling, you just watched me remove your friends penises,” says the devil.

“I know” replies the man “but my father was a popsicle maker”

After much discussion, the scientific community decided to try to determine why the human penis is shaped the way it is. MIT allocated a budget of $200,000 and after two years research decided the head of the penis is bigger than the shaft so that during intercourse a better seal is maintained thus preventing leakage and ensuring fertilization.

Johns Hopkins Medical Center allocated a budget of $500,000 and after five years research decided that the head is bigger than the shaft in order to provide more stimulation, ensure ejaculation and thus allow for impregnation.

The fellows over at the University of Hawaii spent $2.50, they bought a copy of the latest Victoria’s Secret catalog and reached the conclusion that the head is bigger to prevent your hand from slipping off!

The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:
Has to work hard
Has to work at great depths
Has to work upside down
Has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work
Has to work in a high humidity environment
Has to work at high temperatures
Does not get weekends and holidays off
Does not get time off after extra hours of work
Has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness

Request denied for the following reasons:
Does not work 8 hours in a row
Does not answer immediately to all requests
After a short activity period, falls asleep at work
Shows no fidelity to the workplace
Retires too early
Does not work at all unless pushed from behind
Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work
Sometimes leaves work, too early