1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Don’t be silly, protect your willy
3. When in doubt, shroud your spout
4. No glove, no love!
5. Don’t be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think he’s spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between his thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. He won’t get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. In December, gift wrap your member
14. Don’t be a fool, vulcanize your tool
15. The right selection will protect your erection
